


If Time Can't Heal, I'll Try

by Moriartied



Category: AFI
Genre: (just me and my best friend chilling with the band), (not romantic though), And I'm pretty sure it's a self insert fic which is YIKES, For organizational purposes, Importing work from elsewhere, M/M, This is so very old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-17
Updated: 2008-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-24 07:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6145726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriartied/pseuds/Moriartied
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smith loves Davey, but even after ten years, Davey can’t let go of his feelings for someone else. Will a few nights together in a miniscule hotel room change that? Does time heal all wounds, or is that love's job?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Smith Wakes Up The Band

 The sky was the color of water. Clear, with the barest tint of blue. The sun was a large golden ball floating just above the horizon, bathing the soft whit clouds with a warm glow. At this hour, it was easy to convince yourself that you were the only one alive in the world.  
  
Or the only one awake, which in Smith’s case wasn’t a lie. He sat at the table of the bus admiring the crystal clarity of the early morning sky, the only sound he could hear was the even breaths of his sleeping companions and the hum of the bus wheels beneath him. In a few minutes the silence would be destroyed when he would be forced to wake the others, starting with Jade, the easiest and finishing with Davey, who, it seemed would sleep through a nuclear attack, if such an event took place.  
  
He glanced over at Davey’s bunk. His delicate band was hanging over the side below the curtain. His pale wrist was bent at a probably painful angle, with his brightly painted fingernails dangling perpendicular to the floor. Smith smiled, how lucky was he to be able to share sleeping quarters with this beautiful man every night?  
  
If only he could capture the affection of the man who was the sole object of his own. Their relationship would never be any thing more than good friends. Sure, Davey flirted with him, but he was that way with everyone. Smith received no special treatment, no lingering glances, regardless of how many he gave.  
  
Davey rolled over in his sleep and the hand retreated behind the curtain. Smith sighed and stood up to wake his brother. He placed a hand on the older man’s shoulder and shook gently.  
  
“Wakey wakey, little Jadey,” he whispered, his face close to the man’s ear. Without opening his eyes, Jade waved his hand annoyed in his direction. Smith dodged away, chuckling as Jade groaned. He moved on towards Hunter’s bunk, knowing that the man would already be awake, head buried defiantly under his pillow. Today was no exception. Smith carefully pulled back the curtain, maintaining the element of surprise, and reached out to pinch his exposed stomach. Hunter convulsed, cursing Smith and hitting him with a pillow when he continued to poke the man’s sensitive sides. Their bickering woke up Adam, who joined in pummeling Smith.  
  
“Guys, guys! Chill!” Jade said, covering his pained ears. Smith took advantage of the distraction and darted to the other side of the bus to rouse Davey. Yanking aside the curtain, he found Davey tossing restlessly, still asleep, but obviously distraught. When Smith put his hand on his shoulder, Davey groaned and turned towards his touch.  
  
Smith saw the look on Davey’s face and realized his mistake. Embarrassedly he backed away, realizing that Davey was not having a nightmare, but rather a very vivid wet dream. Adam and Hunter had turned their attentions to Jade and were occupied with throwing large soft objects at him, so they did not notice when Davey shot straight upright in his bed letting out an anguished cry. Smith turned around.  
  
“You okay, man?” he asked.  
  
Davey turned crimson. “Yeah. ‘m fine,” he muttered, not meeting Smith’s gaze.  
  
“Who--?” Smith began and then stopped. Did he really want to know?  
  
Davey looked at him almost pensively, and then shrugged, a strange look in his eye. Smith turned away, leaving Davey staring after him. Staring at his bare, muscled back, those gorgeous tattoos and… no. He wasn’t ready for that.  
  
Smith went about his morning business as usual, but his mind was preoccupied. What had that look meant? Could Davey have possibly been dreaming about him? No, he was reading too far into it. His hopes were clouding his thinking. But Davey had blushed when he confronted him… No. Stop.  
  
Smith was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear Davey telling him that they were almost at the hotel. He nearly jumped into the air when Davey tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
“You okay?” Davey asked.  
  
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Smith answered too quickly.  
  
“If you need to talk about anything, I’m here,” Davey said, earnestly.  
  
Smith stared at him for a few seconds, calculating his response. “Maybe later,” he said finally.  
  
Davey shrugged and went to get his things together to move from the bus to the hotel.  
Smith turned to address the band members.  
  
“Okay guys, I could only book four rooms, so someone has to share with m–”  
  
“Not it!” Adam called, echoed by Hunter, Jade and then Davey.  
  
“Damn.” Davey muttered.  
  
“Aw guys, am I really that bad to sleep with?” Smith pouted, then reddened as he realized what he’d said. No one noticed because they were all emphatically saying yes. Smith rolled his eyes, taking in the fact that Davey was not participating in the Smith-bashing-convention.  
  
“Anyway,” he continued. “The concert starts at eight. Tiger Army is opening for us, and you guys go on at nine. After the show I want every one asleep as soon as possible, we need to be up at six tomorrow for an interview with VH1. Got it?”  
  
“Yes mother,” Hunter groaned.

  
The bus pulled to a stop in front of the Washington D.C. Hilton.


	2. In which Smith gets coffee. And a surprise.

Smith stood in line at the Starbucks on the ground floor of the hotel. He’d been sent down with drink orders by the rest of the band members who were getting ready for the gig. The hotel itself was pretty nice, with two restaurants, a convenient store, a Starbucks, and giant ballrooms, but it seemed that they’d picked the worst weekend to play a show in D.C. Apparently President’s weekend was when Georgetown University hosted their Model United Nations conference, also known as a bunch of kids running rampant through the hotel. This was also the reason for the lack of rooms which lead to Smith having the share with Davey, or rather, getting to share a room with Davey.  
  
Their four rooms were sandwiched between two groups of kids. Smith had informed the band that he would gladly find them a new hotel if they wanted, but the guys had thought it was cute and wanted to stay.  
  
Well, it wouldn’t be Smith’s fault if they fell asleep in the middle of tomorrow’s interview.  
  
He paid for the drinks and went back to the elevators to go upstairs. He was joined on the elevator by a loud group of teenage girls with overstuffed Vera Bradley bags, They all fell silent when they noticed him and stood as far away as possible in the cramped room.  
And speaking of cramped, could they have gotten any smaller rooms? The bathroom was directly across from the foot wide closet, and you couldn’t have the two doors open at the same time. The king sized bed was crammed into the awkwardly curved space; the TV was in the same cabinet as the chest of drawers, the minibar and the coffee machine, and the recliner chair was squeezed behind the table with no room to recline.  
  
Someone badly needed to renovate.  
  
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Smith carefully pushed his way through the mass of bodies to escape. When he opened the door to his room, he breathed a sigh of relief to have made it back in one piece without spilling anything.  
  
He put the coffee down on the table and knocked on the bathroom door. He heard the water shut off as Davey called out “What?”  
  
“Just letting you know that I’m back, so you might want to get dressed before you come out.”  
  
“Why would I do that?” Davey asked. Smith’s eyes widened.  
  
“I–uh–I…” he stammered.  
  
Davey laughed. “Just kidding Smiffers, I wouldn’t want you to see anything that might hurt your pretty little eyes.”  
  
  
Smith laughed too, letting Davey know that he knew it was a joke.  
  
But then the door opened and Davey appeared, clad only in a soft white towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was hanging dripping in front of his face and his milky white skin glistened with water droplets.  
  
“I realized I didn’t bring my clothes in with me after all,” Davey explained.  
  
Smith gasped, feeling himself getting hard. Davey walked by him to get to the other side of the room, the cramped space causing him to brush against Smith. Smith gasped audibly, but Davey thankfully didn’t notice.  
  
Smith watched as Davey went through his suitcase with one hand, the other occupied with holding the towel up. He slid on a pair of black boxer-briefs and let the towel fall away. As he wrapped the towel around his head to dry his hair, he turned around and saw Smith watching him. He gave him a strange undistinguishable look, and Smith turned away embarrassed.  
  
“I guess I’ll uh, go give the others their drinks…” he said turning towards the door.  
Davey chuckled “Aren’t you forgetting something?”  
  
Smith turned back around to see Davey pointing towards the carrying carton of drinks.  
“Oh right.” Smith said, embarrassed.  
  
He got the coffee and left the room. As he was shutting the door, he heard Davey call. “Smith? There’s something I need to tell you. Can we talk tonight? After the show?”  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Smith said, and continued on in his mission.  
  
He knocked on Jade’s door, and then handed him the coffee.  
  
“Hold these. I gotta use the bathroom,” he left Jade standing bewildered in the doorway as he sprinted into the bathroom and shut the door.  
  
A few minutes and some muffle moans later, he reemerged and took the drinks from Jade who was chuckling at him, extremely amused.  
  
“What?” Smith snapped.  
  
Jade shook his head, smirking.  
  
Smith glared at him and shut the door hard on his way out. What, Smith scoffed in his head, like Jade never had to… relieve himself? Admittedly, probably not over of a member of the band… or any guy for that matter…  
  
Smith didn’t appreciate being made fun of, and was now in a bad moon as Adam opened the door to let him in.  
  
“Take your coffee and hurry up and get ready. We have less than an hour,” he snapped.

“Who put the bug up your ass?” Adam shot back. Smith flipped him off and moved on to Hunter, who he didn’t even speak to, merely shoved the cup at him and stalked off in the direction of the vending machine.


	3. In which Davey has a chat with Smiffers, and Smiffers has a chat with the girls next door.

Smith watched the concert on high-def TV backstage. The guys sounded great, they had totally captured the audience and were hitting everything just perfectly. Davey was as sexy as ever, jumping around the stage, and tossing his long devil-lock out of his eyes with his manicured fingers.  
  
Jade stepped forward wand rocked a guitar solo, but Smith’s eyes remained on Davey. He wondered what Davey wanted to talk about. Had he found out about Smith’s feelings? Did he return them? Or was he disgusted? Smith hoped it wasn’t the latter. Maybe it didn’t even have anything to do with that. Maybe Davey wanted to talk about something band related. But why would he want to wait to talk about that?  
  
The guys wrapped up the set and, waving to their fans, ran off stage for the break. Seconds later the door to Smith’s room burst open and Jade ran in with Davey on his back. Unable to carry the man any longer, he dropped him off on the couch and collapsed on top of him.  
  
“I’m getting to old for this, Dave,” he gasped, out of breath.  
  
“Nonsense,” Davey said, pecking Jade on the cheek. Jade raised an eyebrow at Davey–a warning?–and got up off his lap.  
  
“How’d it sound, Smiff?” he asked his brother.  
  
“Great, amazing, fantastic. You guys totally rocked.” He smiled.  
  
“Woah, no criticism? Who are you and what have you done with Smith?” Adam asked, coming out of the bathroom.  
  
“No seriously, you guys were hella awesome.”  
  
“What about sexy?” Davey asked. “Were we sexy?” he fluttered is silver eyelashes.  
  
Oh yes, Smith thought, you have no idea. “Of course,” he said out loud.  
  
Jade was smirking at him again. He glared in his brother’s direction, challenging him to say something. Jade shrugged and stood up.  
  
“Time to go, guys. Later, bro,” the band headed back out to the stage, leaving Smith alone again.  
  
He sank down onto the couch in the place that Davey had just occupied minutes earlier.   
  
He had begun to dread this conversation that he was going to have shortly.  
  
~*~  
  
Later that night, Smith sat on the edge of the king-sized bed stripping out of his shirt and pants. Davey was already in bed, facing Smith’s exposed back.  
  
“So,” Smith began, “You wanted to talk?”  
  
Davey didn’t respond, and for a moment Smith thought he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke softly.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
Smith turned around.  
  
“For what?” he asked, confused.  
  
“For not being able to love you.”  
  
Smith winced. So Davey did know. Davey didn’t wait for Smith to respond. He continued, “I doubt that Jade’s ever told you this, but…” he trailed off, not sure how to word what he was trying to say.  
  
“You two have a relationship?” Smith supplied for him, dully.  
  
Davey looked up, suddenly, the whites of his eyes bright in the dark room.  
  
“No, no,” he assured. “Well, not exactly.” He sighed. “Jade, sadly, is straight.  
  
Smith didn’t follow. He leaned back against the pillow, waiting for Davey to continue.  
“Smith, I like you. I really do. But it’s Jade who I’m in love with. I–I don’t want you to be a substitute for him. It wouldn’t be right.”  
  
That made sense to Smith, well, kind of.  
  
“So you do like me, you just can’t?” he clarified.  
  
“Exactly.”   
  
They sat in silence for a moment, and then Smith slid closer to Davey.  
  
“So, uh, can I kiss you?”  
  
Davey’s lips twitched into a smile.  
  
“I don’t see why not,” he chuckled.   
  
Smith lifted himself up onto his elbow, leaning slowly towards Davey. He gently brushed Davey’s hair out of his face and pressed his lips cautiously to his.  
  
Davey wasn’t sure how far Smith wanted to take this, so he remained still, parting his lips slightly. Smith’s kiss was sweet and short. He pulled back from Davey, almost sadly. He lay down on his side of the bed, silently, closing his eyes. Davey watched him for a few minutes, and then moved closer to him, wrapping his arms around Smith’s shoulders.  
Smith sank into the embrace, and fell asleep with the sweet smell of Davey’s cologne surrounding him.  
  
~*~  
  
At around two in the morning, Smith was awakened by a loud thud against the wall behind the bed. He glanced over at Davey, who was still asleep. Suddenly there was another thud, although this one was not quite as loud. Following the noise was an outburst of laughter, giggling to be exact.   
  
Smith stood up carefully so as not to disturb Davey, and pressed his ear against the wall. There was another loud crash, and then he heard, “Oh fuck, you broke the coffee maker,” and more giggles. Dumb kids, Smith thought and attempted to go back to sleep.  
  
But the voices escalated in volume, and he was forced to do something about it. He stood up again and went out into the hall, banging on the door of the adjacent room. He heard footsteps coming towards the door and then a shriek.  
  
“Who are you?” A girl shouted at him.  
  
“Your exhausted neighbor.” Smith groaned. “Can you please be quiet?”  
  
“Who is it and what do they want?” a voice from deeper inside the room called.  
  
“Some ugly guy in boxers!” the first girl yelled back.  
  
“Please keep it down?” Smith pleaded.  
  
“Hey Elena, should we be quiet for the creeper?”  
  
“Heck no!” the girl named Elena replied, giggling.  
  
“Dance party!” a third girl screamed. Smith groaned frustratedly and went back to his own room. He reached down to his pocket to get his key and realized he didn’t have a pocket. Or a key.  
  
“Aw fuck,” he said, kicking out at the wall. He knew there was no point in trying to wake Davey, so he walked a little ways down the hall to try Jade.  
  
This totally sucked ass.


	4. In which Smith finds out Davey's secret

Jade opened the door after Smith’s tenth knock, rubbing his eyes sleepily.   
  
“Wha’ tim’s’it?” he asked thickly.  
  
“Two? I don’t know. Just let me in.”  
  
Jade blinked, “Wha’ happened with Dave?” he managed to ask.  
  
“Nothing. I got locked out, that’s all.”  
  
“Oh,” Jade was beginning to become cognitive. “By ‘nothing’ you mean… nothing?”  
Smith nodded.  
  
“As, I’m sorry Smiffy. Did he tell you about what happened ten years ago?”  
  
“That was ten years ago?” Smith exclaimed. “Holy shit, what’s taking him so long?”  
Jade stared at him blankly.   
  
“To get over you. What’s taking him so long to get over you?” Smith repeated.  
Jade looked at Smith apologetically.   
  
“I don’t know. Really I don’t. But I’m really sorry, bro. I’m here id you want to talk.” He yawned. “Although at the moment all I want is sleep.”  
  
Jade turned and went back to the bed, sprawling across it. Smith somehow managed to squeeze in around Jade’s lanky limbs and fell asleep shortly.   
  
~*~  
  
Davey woke up at around five, finally noticing the other man’s absence.  
  
“Smith?” he called out into the darkness. “Smiffers?” When he received no response, he panicked. Had he done something wrong? Did Smith hate him now? He could see why Smith would, but he thought the other man would understand. He didn’t think Smith would give up on him that easily.  
  
He attempted to fall back to sleep, trying to convince himself that Smith had just gone out for food or something and would be coming back in at any moment.  
  
~*~  
  
Smith gently shook Jade awake. In his sleep, the older man had rolled over and was now pinning Smith to the bed with his long legs.  
  
Jade muttered threats at Smith for waking him so early, and crawled groggily out of bed to go shower. Smith went to go wake Davey and nearly bumped into a bellboy pushing a room service cart. He muttered and apology and slipped around the mad to get to Davey’s room, reaching out and snatching a sugar cube as he went past.  
  
He knocked loudly on the door to his and Davey’s room and was shocked when Davey actually opened it.   
  
“Where were you?” Davey asked, clearly worried. “I thought… I wasn’t sure– ”  
  
“I forgot to bring my key. I got locked out.”  
  
“Oh,” Davey said with relief. “I though maybe you were mad at me.”  
  
“For what?” Smith asked. “I mean ten years is a hella long time, but I guess I understand your feelings.”  
  
Davey stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around Smith appreciatively.   
  
The door next to them opened.   
  
“That should not be legal,” one of the girls from the previous night said in a loud whisper.  
  
“What, you can’t have a problem with two guys–”  
  
“No, I meant that is too damn sexy to be legal,” the girl laughed, and paid the frightened bell boy for the roomservice. He turned on his heel and sped away as quickly as possible.   
  
Smith and Davey retreated into their room and shut the door.  
  
“So I’m guessing you talked to Jade?” Davey said to Smith.  
  
“Yeah, but he didn’t say much. He was pretty much asleep.”  
  
“Oh,” Davey said.   
  
“You want to tell me about it?” Smith Asked.  
  
~*~  
  
(Flashback to May 1996)  
  
It was a day he’d been waiting for his entire life. Jade’s dream of graduating college was nearly complete. Once he was handed that little scroll of paper, he could do anything he wanted. He would have a college degree, he could get any job.  
  
Or he could join Davey’s band, as the short dark haired boy was attempting desperately to convince him to do.  
  
“If you joined AFI we could always be together. For ever and ever.” The boy pleaded, staring up at Jade with his large brown eyes. Jade was almost persuaded. But what would his parents say if he did that? What kind of example would he be setting for Smith?  
  
“We can still be together Dave, I’m not going to leave you no matter what.” Jade said, grinning.  
  
“No matter what?” Davey asked.  
  
“Promise.”¬¬  
  
Davey stared pensively at the floor of Jade’s dorm room. They’d just finished packing everything into cardboard boxes so Jade could move them into the U-Haul to drive home to Ukiah later that night.   
  
“Jade, I love you.” Davey said, not looking up.  
  
Jade stiffened, still bent over a box with packing tape in his hand. He was stunned into speechlessness.  
  
“Now you’re going to leave, aren’t you.” Davey whispered, his voice breaking.  
  
“Why would I do that?” Jade said, turning around.   
  
“Because you don’t love me back.” Davey balled his hands into fists and bit his lip to keep from crying.  
  
“Dave,” Jade began, “Just because I don’t love you the way that you love me doesn’t mean that I hate you. I mean, I do love you as a friend. As my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. And it’s not you as a person, it’s just the fact that you’re a guy… and I’m straight.”  
  
“So if you were gay you’d go out with me?” Davey asked, cracking a weak smile.   
  
“Hell yeah, Davey. And I’m sure there are plenty other guys out there that would too.”   
  
Jade pulled Davey close to him in a friendly hug.  
  
“Thanks,” Davey said, resting his head on Jade’s shoulder. “So will you join my band?”  
  
He asked.  
  
“We’ll see.” Jade smiled.  
  
~*~  
  
(present day)  
  
“Jade was right,” Smith said when Davey finished his story. “About there being other guys out there who would go out with you.”  
  
Davey nodded. “I know. But that’s not what I’m looking for. I want someone who loves me. Who would do anything in the world for me and me only. And there are a lot less of those kind of guys, if any.”  
  
“Oh, I know one.” Smith smiled shyly.  
  
Davey stared at Smith for a few seconds. He knew that the other man meant what he said, and he knew he would be happy with Smith, so what was stopping him?  
  
“I just need some time,” he said. If you really love me, you’ll wait.


	5. In which Smith is clearly NOT okay.

When everyone was awake and clean, they headed down Connecticut Avenue towards the Cosi for breakfast. They ordered their food and then went to sit on the enclosed porch to eat.

“Whoa, is that a Church of Scientology?” Hunter pointed across the street.

“Awesome, I’ve always wanted to go to one of those!” Adam exclaimed.

“We have some time tomorrow afternoon if you guys want to check it out,” Smith said, sipping at his “Double Oh” Arctic.

The woman sitting next to them leaned over to ask them, “So what are you boys in the city for?” She winked at them.

“We’re here to perform?” Davey responded, confused.

“Oh! Are you with the ballet? That’s so nice. So you’re going to go rehearse now?”

“Uhh…” They didn’t know what to say, and the woman was a little scary, so they quickly excused themselves, saying they had somewhere to be. They went out the side door and walked around the block to the Starbucks. Smith ordered a second frappuccino and they sat down to finish their meal.

A few minutes later, the door opened, letting in a burst of cold air. Davey glanced up and his eyes widened.

“Oh my god. Don’t turn around.” He gasped. 

Of course no one listened. The other four looked over to see that the woman from Cosi had followed them into Starbucks. 

In unison, they gathered their things and headed towards the bathroom, slipping out the back door.

“Do you think she actually followed us?” Adam asked.

“Nah, it’s probably just coincidence.” Jade shook his head.

Smith was trying to stifle his laughter. “She thought we were ballerinas!” he choked out.

~*~

Smith didn’t know what Davey wanted him to do. There were a few different approaches he could take to this situation and he had been deliberating over them since this morning. He had decided that for at least the next few days, he wouldn’t mention anything to Dave. He didn’t want to pester him. But he didn’t want Davey to think that he’d given up. He would never give up. Especially now that he knew that Davey returned his feelings.

Dammit this was infuriating.

Heavily tattooed arms snaked around his neck from behind. He breathed in deeply Davey’s sweet scent, not turning around.

“Working?” Davey asked.

“Email,” Smith replied.

Davey leaned forward, his hair brushing Smith’s neck. “You okay?” he asked softly.

Smith nodded, his cheek brushing Davey’s.

“Soon, darling, soon.” Davey whispered and then pulled away.

Smith pouted silently. He honestly couldn’t understand why Davey needed time. Was it that hard to see how in love he was?

Jade sat down beside him, ruffling his hair teasingly.

“You okay?” He asked.

“What is it with people asking me that today?” Smith muttered.

“So you’re not. What is it? Is it Davey?”

“No, I don’t know.” Smith sighed. “Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?”

Jade wrapped his arms comfortingly around Smith’s shoulders.

“No. You’re doing everything perfectly right.” Jade grinned, “Dave’s a complex person. He’s not used to this. He’s put up so many boundaries to protect himself; you can’t just expect to break through them in one day. Think of it as a war. You’ve already won the first battle; you’ve gotten him to admit his feelings for you. Don’t give up, ever.”

“Dang, Jade, you really should have been a shrink.”

“And miss out on being with you 24/7? Nah, I’d never want that.”

Smith stuck out his tongue at the taunt.

“Good luck Smiffy.” He smiled and stood up.

A few minutes later they went downstairs to catch a cab to the Washington Monument for the interview, where they met up with “Leah a.k.a. TRL’S Saucy D.C. Correspondent” as she introduced herself. She was short with short black hair done up in thick corkscrew curls that bounced when she laughed.

“Hey guys,” she said, lengthening the word so it became two separate syllables. 

“Big fan, love your video. You can stand over there.”

She spoke so quickly that her words ran together into one long sentence. “You must be Smith, yes?” she asked, sticking her hand out to shake Smith’s. “Are you in the interview too?”

Smith shrugged. “If you want.”

“You’re cute, so sure.”

Smith situated himself between Jade and Hunter. Davey was on Jade’s other side, next to Adam. Leah signaled to them that the camera was rolling.

“I’m here with punk rockers AFI, whose hit song Miss Murder topped charts over the summer. Hey guys, why don’t you introduce yourselves?”

“Hey, I’m Adam, I play drums.”

“Davey Havok, lead vocals, and I write the music.”

“Jade Puget, guitar.”

“Smith Puget, uhh tour manager.” Smith smiled.

“Hunter.” Hunter said. “I play bass.”

“Lovely, lovely. So can you explain the band name? AFI, what’s it mean?”

“Well, it actually stands for a fire inside.” Davey said.

“Great.” Leah cut him off before he could elaborate. “Are you guys working on any new music at the moment?”

Now Jade spoke. “Dave and I are working on a side project, Blaqk Audio. It’s more electronic than any of our AFI albums. The album should be out in August?”

“Do you have a title for it yet?”

“CexCells. It’s sort of a play on words.” Davey answered.

“I see. Now onto the juicier questions.” Her grin broadened. “Any romances we should know about? Any of you guys planning to get married any time soon?”

Jade barely concealed a snort.

“I’ve had a few girlfriends from time to time, but nothing serious.” He said.

“Same for me,” Adam added.

Leah looked at Davey. “How about you, anyone strike your fancy?”

His eyes flickered almost unnoticeably towards Smith. He grinned at Leah. 

“Maybe,” he said, simply.

“Oh, secretive, I got it.” She said. 

Davey shrugged.

“Well, that’s about all the time we have. Thanks guys, it was great meeting you!”

They thanked her and went to collect up their belongings. Leah stepped up to Davey. “I wanted to ask you something, off the record.” She said quietly.

“Hn?” Davey acknowledged.

“Are you gay?” she asked.

Davey rolled his eyes. “No matter what I say, people will think what they want, so I just don’t even talk about it.”

“Oh come on, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Right. You’re a reporter. It’s your job.”

Leah shrugged. “I take that as a yes.”

“It doesn’t matter. You have no proof.” Davey turned and joined his bandmates and Smith.

Leah waved goodbye, disappointedly. 

Jade pulled Smith aside before they got in the taxi.

“This is insane,” he said. “I’m going to talk to Dave tonight.”

“No, you don’t have to do this, I’m fine.” Smith protested. “I can live with it.”

Jade shook his head. “I can’t. I have to talk to him.”

Smith saw that he was not going to dissuade Jade. He sighed.

“Whatever. Just please don’t fuck it up.”

“Don’t worry.” Jade gave Smith a one-armed hug.


	6. In which Jade convinces Davey to move on, and move on he does.

They returned to the hotel around three to find it pleasantly quiet. All the kids were occupied with their Model UN activities and everyone else at the hotel was out during the day. They sat down in the café and made use of the free internet while they drank their various beverages. 

“Hey Dave, I need to talk to you about something,” Jade said quietly. 

“Yeah?” Davey glanced up.

“Can we, uh, go over there or something?” He waved in the direction of the couches across the room.

Davey stood up and followed him. 

“Did Smith send you?” he asked once they were out of earshot of the others.

“No. He didn’t want me to say anything. He said he’ll wait as long as you need. But Dave, you can’t do this. You have to move on, it’s not healthy.”

“I know,: Davey looked down. “But I still always hope that–” 

“Davey, look at me.” Jade said firmly.

Davey looked up glossy-eyed. 

“We’re friends. That’s all. If I ever said anything that might have lead you to think otherwise, I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean it.”

“But we–”

“I know.” Jade cut him off. :”I’m sorry, It was stupid of me. Please forget about that, please. Smith needs you. I need you to be with Smith.” He hesitated. “And you need Smith too.”

Davey nodded. “I know. But I can’t stop thinking about that night. It was the best night of my life. And the worst. I got so excited, Jade. I thought that finally my prayers had come true. But you… you…” he couldn’t finish.

“I’m sorry Davey. I’ve told you that a million times. It wasn’t supposed to happen. But it is supposed to happen with you and Smith.” Jade said with finality.

Jade walked away. He’d been right. That had been what was holding Davey back. Jade stupidity. His irresponsibility. That one drunken night. The only time in his life. Jade had come home one night from a bad day of work. His assistant had quit, his boss had blamed him, and he’d gotten two parking tickets. He’d called Davey for comfort and they’d gone to a night club. 

Davey had already adopted the straight edge lifestyle, so he didn’t drink, but Jade had two shots. And then about seven more. 

He’d become so drunk that when Davey had come over to ask him if he was okay, he’d grabbed him and started dancing, grinding himself against Davey’s back. He’d never intended for it to escalate to what it did, but somehow he found himself in a bathroom, Davey pressed between him and the wall.

They’s only kissed, thankfully. Jade would have gone farther but Davey had stopped him, saying they could wait. Jade had frozen, realizing what he’d done and what Davey must have thought. He’d stared at his friend, sickened, as if unable to look at what he’d done. What he’d told himself he would never do. 

“Dammit Dave,” he’d slurred. “This isn’t what it seemed like.” And then he’d run into the nearest stall and wretched into the toilet. When he’d reemerged, Davey was gone. He walked home alone, screaming at himself for his carelessness.

He’d thought their friendship was over, but a week later, Davey had shown up on his doorstep, bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. 

“I forgive you Jade. Because I fucking can’t live with without you. Please join AFI?”

And Jade had.

Jade sat down next to Smith.

“Did you–?” Smith asked. Jade nodded.

“Did he–?” 

“Later,” Jade said as Davey returned to the table. 

For the rest of the day, Davey seemed to be avoiding the Puget brothers. Smith had no idea what Jade had said, but he was guessing Davey didn’t like it too much.

They played another show that night, and returned to the hotel exhausted. When Smith got out of the shower, Davey was already asleep, facing away from him. Smith crawled into bed. The cover slipped from Davey’s shoulder, exposing his pale back. Smith reached out tentatively and traced the outline of Davey’s wing tattoos.  
“My angel,” he whispered. He let his hand rest in the curve of Davey’s waist, and curled his head onto his shoulder. In minutes he was asleep.

Davey carefully rolled over to face Smith. “My darling,” he whispered back, wrapping his arms around Smith and burying his head in his chest. Smith’s grip tightened. He smiled into Davey’s hair. Davey glanced up nervously.

“I love you,” Smith mouthed. Davey grinned and raised his head to kiss Smith on the lips. He pulled away, and Smith tensed, be he relaxed when Davey smiled and breathed, 

“I love you too.”

They kissed again, more passionately, tongues battling for dominance. Smith gripped Davey’s waist, pulling their bodies closer together. Their erections brushed against eack other. 

“Shit, Dave,” Smith gasped. “I’m too tired to… you know.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that.” Davey replied huskily. 

“Oh God, Dave,” Smith whined.

Davey pulled away, but kept his arms wrapped around Smith’s waist.

“Good night my love,” he whispered.

Smith purred and pulled Davey’s head onto his chest, burying his face in the man’s long black hair.

They both fell asleep and slept through the whole night, past Smith’s alarm. Smith woke up to Jade banging on the door that connected their room. He shook Davey awake and went to open the door with the other man clinging to his waist sleepily.

“What?” Smith snapped at Jade’s amused grin.

“Nothing, nothing,” Jade put his hands in defense. 

Davey raised his head and pecked Smith on the cheek. Jade’s eyes remained focused on Davey for a moment, and then he smiled and shut the door on the two men.


End file.
